He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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