Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
A+ Viking dick
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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