i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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