What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
My vagina just recognized that song.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize