I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize