pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize