Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
