Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
