sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I think people are normalizing furries
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
