I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i will never coherently bang her
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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