Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
