People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
