I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
