Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Why are your pants in the freezer?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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