used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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