apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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