so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
