Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
