Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My penis needs a shock collar
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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