After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
