Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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