An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Randomize
