Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
