Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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