Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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