Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize