i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
