i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
