If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
