Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
