evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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