Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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