Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
