I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
