Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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