there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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