I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
