i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
