love makes seman taste better
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
