Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
