i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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