I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
This is my gift to your gina
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Help. Why am I so naked?
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