why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
