I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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