Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Panties = found
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
