Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i now understand why vodka
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
