she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
