I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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