i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
