I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i've created a new STD.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
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