dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
