I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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