you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
being pregnant is like rehab
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
