i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
