i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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