Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
