That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
