I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
